Becoming a More Present and Patient Parent

The way I parent today is very different to how I used to parent.

Listen in as I share the six lessons that I learned over the years in becoming a more conscious parent.

Lesson #1: Take care of your own needs, first.

When you heal your relationship with yourself, every other relationship in your life transforms for the better.

When you change, the whole world around you changes, if only because you start to view life through different lenses.

As mothers, we are told that we are good parents when we are able to do everything possible to make our kids happy, and the happier our kids are, the better parents we are.

By taking care of yourself first, you gain a more energized body and a clearer mind that can distinguish between your kids’ immediate needs versus those things that can wait.

Most importantly, you’re going to have the patience to take care of their needs.

Lesson #2: Take care of your inner child.

Self-love cannot take place if we are not embracing every part of ourselves, and that includes our inner child.

If you take care of your inner child, you start to see life through your own child’s perspective.

And remember: Connecting with your inner child is not a one-time event. It is a continuous connection that needs to be built and maintained.

Lesson #3: Accept your own mistakes and forgive yourself.

This has been such a pivotal step in improving my relationship with my kids.

The more I have learned to be accepting of my own mistakes, and the easier I have found it to forgive myself when I’ve fallen short of my own expectations, the easier it has become to not yell at my kids when they make mistakes.

Start giving yourself more grace for the mistakes that you make. Start becoming more accepting of your imperfections and your shortcomings. You will then stop putting so much pressure on your kids to get it right the first time, as well.

Lesson #4: Stop basing your self-worth as a parent by your children’s performance.

We regard our kids’ behavior as a reflection of who we are as parents, whether they behave or misbehave.

Are you letting your children live a life of their choosing or a life of your choosing?

Understand that your values may not be the same as your kids’.

And that’s okay.

Lesson #5: Hold space for your kids when they experience big feelings.

Anything that somebody would label as “bad” behavior—whether they’re lying to us or having a meltdown—I refer to as “big” behavior instead.

That’s because, the second we assign the word “bad” or “good” to anything, we are, by definition, being judgmental.

Anytime judgment rears its ugly head, you operate from a place of fear or spite and you put up a wall that prevents you from having open, effective, and efficient communication with the other person.

Diminishing your child’s feelings creates separation. We don’t have to be responsible for “fixing” their feelings. We just have to take responsibility in being a witness to those feelings.

Lesson #6: Guide your kids to draw conclusions of their own.

We are so quick to tell our kids to do things our way.

I still need to keep reminding myself of this every day.

Once parties have calmed down, make a point to go to them and ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Open your mind to hearing about the situation from their perspective. Use open-ended questions and ask them how you can do things better next time.

Then apologize.

Feelings need to be felt. Feelings serve as a compass to tell us what is wrong.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

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