How an Olympic Athlete Found Her Voice and Beat Breast Cancer

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome Lauren McFall Gardner, who represented America in synchronized swimming at the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece.

Tell us a bit about yourself.

Lauren: I grew up in Northern California. For 16 years, I trained for synchronized swimming (now called “artistic swimming”). In 2004, I was team captain of my team at the Olympics, and we won a bronze medal. There were so many challenges in that experience and I realized that learning from them would carry me through future challenges. I got my first job on Wall Street because I was an Olympic medalist, and my CEO at the time wanted athletes as salespeople. I had kids soon after. But I floundered a little bit as I started to question what I was truly meant to do and be because I didn’t feel that I lived up to the expectations that others had of me.

What were some of your struggles when you decided to work with me?

Lauren: When we finished working together, you shared with me some of the things I said during our first session. I didn’t even recognize that person: I was so insecure and felt that I needed external validation. I didn’t want to screw up the new job I had at the time. I knew that failing would break me.

How did you fare when we finished working together?

Lauren: Soon after we finished our work together, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. It wasn’t even until around six weeks ago, now that I’m on the other side of it, when it finally struck me that I had been led to you and we had worked on these tools that helped me in my career… and had unexpectedly helped me with this traumatic disease, too. My life still isn’t “perfect”, of course, but I feel that I’m on a very good path right now.

How did you find your voice?

Lauren: The only way I got my husband and kids to hear me was to yell and be angry. I knew I had to find my voice, because once I could get clear on what I want or need, I could just say it. I felt this need that I had to do everything for my family. Finding my voice taught me that I should only do something because I wanted to do it, not because I “had” to. If I refuse to do something, it doesn’t mean I don’t love my family. It only means I need rest at that particular moment.

You mentioned tools. Which tools have you found to be the most useful to you?

Lauren: I used to get really anxious during a work call. One of the thing you taught me was to do a five-minute meditation.

I also became aware of my ego and the loud voice coming from it telling me why I can’t do something. I learned to listen to the little voice instead telling me why I can.

How has doing internal work changed you as a mom?

Lauren: I remember thinking I was on top of motherhood when we started working together. But that was only because they were younger.

I’m now more in tune with how they feel when they get upset and am more patient with them, whereas before, I would just react in these base, human ways.

I’ve also shifted to regarding parenting as managing myself as much as it is managing my kids.

Tell me about your journey with breast cancer. How did you get through it?

Lauren: In some ways, cancer was one of the best things that ever happened to me because it shed a light on so many things. One of the big ones is asking for help because I didn’t have a choice.

That experience also changed my perception on health.

New me sees that it’s more important to be on the floor wrestling and playing with my kids, and just being grateful that I have these days with them. Love was a huge, huge thing throughout this process—loving others and loving myself.

On the spiritual side, I learned to cope with stress just by being quiet.

Learn more about Lauren McFall Gardner:

Read about her breast cancer journey: https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Artistic-Swimming/Features/2021/September/30/Lauren-Breast-Cancer-Journey 

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lgardner3736