Motherhood, Mental Health, and Brown Girl Issues with Simi Kaur

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome Simi Kaur.

Simi Kaur is a mom, entrepreneur & content creator who is on a mission to inspire other moms as they navigate their journeys of motherhood. She loves to bring humor in her content in a way that breaks the traditional expectations of the role of mothers in our society.

Being a survivor of depression, she also feels this space is her contribution towards making a lighter and brighter world.

Listen in as we dive into Simi’s struggles with what she calls “brown girl issues” in her youth and, occasionally, even today. She discusses the catalyst that made her decide to stop acting like a victim and take her mental health into her own hands.

Can you share some of the “brown girl issues” you had to navigate growing up?

Simi: I came to Canada at the age of 15 as an immigrant. At that age, you’re trying to find your identity, but I was never able to because of that huge cultural barrier. I was bullied in high school and had to content with the people-pleasing expectations that people have of you being a brown girl. I suffered because I always tried to meet others’ expectations—to be that “good girl”.

What realizations have you come to through that process of unraveling?

Simi: I’m a huge advocate for mental health. There was a point in my life where I was just at rock bottom. My kids were two and four and I was washing the dishes while they were playing outside. And I remember watching them through the window looking so happy, and suddenly I felt so sad. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, and I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t figure it out. I laid in my bedroom and had these unimaginable thoughts that the world would be better off without me.

What was the first step you took towards healing?

Simi: I went to my doctor and just started bawling. He put me on meds when there was such a stigma around medication. Even my parents questioned why I started taking them. I was back with that “brown girl complex”, dependent on other people’s opinions to shape me.

How have you shown up in your community to promote what you’ve been doing for your mental health, and help them realize that they are not alone?

Simi: I talk about it every chance I get on Instagram and on my podcast. It was easier to talk about it when no one was listening to me. It gets very complicated as a mother because there are so many other things we women have to think about. But I always put it out there, and I just hope more people will have a chance to listen to what I have to say, and realize that poor mental health is a real biological issue that we can’t just switch off in the moment.

What are some key issues that you’ve had to unearth and take a close look at in order to really make some big improvements in your mental health?

Simi: That’s a very tough question because I’m constantly trying to heal many parts of my mental health. It’s a messy process. But I feel like I’ve become much better at knowing when I’m trying to people-please at the expense of what I want and need. Now, I’ve shifted to asking more of what makes me happy.

What would you say to someone who can relate to your story and is feeling as alone as you once did?

Simi: First of all, realize that you’re not alone. There are so many people who are going through the same thing you are. The number one tip I can give is to reach out. When I told myself that “no one understands what I’m going through,” I made myself a victim: I was looking for happiness from external sources.

Learn more about Simi Kaur:

You can follow her on TikTok & Instagram at @__simikaur

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

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