The value of empathy, with Dr Lauren Kerwin

In this latest episode of Future-Proof Your Career, we tackle the tricky topic of empathy. What is it? How do you use it? And can you grow - or shrink - your empathy? 

We all think we know what empathy is, but as ever, we ask a real expert. Dr Lauren Kerwin is a Harvard- and UCLA- Trained Psychologist with over 20 years of experience treating borderline personality disorder, autism spectrum disorders, depression, anxiety and trauma in teens and adults.

Lauren also has lots of experience in a corporate context, providing executive coaching and organisational psychology support to highly successful start-ups through to their public listings, with a particular focus on employee selection and training, information sharing, and interpersonal interactions.

Understandably this incredible CV has seen Lauren featured on CNN and the Today Show, and in Forbes, HuffPost, and the New York Times, to name but a handful of news outlets.=

We learned loads from Dr Kerwin, so here are the top tips that I took away:

Empathy is about understanding, not emotion: though compassion is important, you’re not trying to feel what the other person is feeling. You’re trying to understand why they feel the way they do.

Perspective adds value: no position is less valid or valuable because they’re seeing it through a different lens to you. 

Don’t walk in their shoes, keep one foot in yours: While trying to empathise don’t lose your own perspective. You need to try to retain some balance and objectivity.

Everyone has an answer: the role of a leader is increasingly to uncover those answers and give people the confidence to share them.

Respect not agreement: you don’t need to agree with someone to empathise. Sometimes the most important time to be empathetic is when you disagree.

Show people they are valued: even if you ultimately disagree, be clear that the other person’s position was appreciated, otherwise they might not share it in the future.