Betrayal Blindness, Triggers, and Rebuilding Trust: How to Manage (Not “Cure”) Betrayal Trauma
- S3E403
- 27:06
- October 10th 2025
Guest: Mr. Jay
What happens when trust shatters? In this powerful episode, Dr. Allen Lycka sits down with Mr. Jay—betrayal trauma practitioner, intrapersonal relationship coach, author, veteran, and adoptive parent—to unpack the science and lived reality of betrayal trauma.
From defining betrayal trauma (and how it rewires the amygdala, prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, and nervous system) to the surprising role of “betrayal blindness,” Mr. Jay shares candid, practical tools for stabilizing after Discovery Day. He walks through trigger management you can use today, the “three gardens” approach to healing, and the micro-promises and check-ins that help couples rebuild safety and trust over time.
If you’ve wrestled with broken trust, triggers, or the slow work of reconciliation, this episode reframes healing as skill-building—so your triggers stop managing you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• How betrayal trauma differs from stress—and how it changes the brain and body
• Why “betrayal blindness” minimizes red flags to protect your current reality
• A simple needs-assessment for the hard first months after D-Day
• Fast trigger tools that re-engage your thinking brain (count-backs, cold water, singing)
• The “three gardens” framework (personal, marital, repair & rebuild) for structured recovery
• How micro-promises, transparency, and weekly check-ins rebuild trust
Connect with Mr. Jay:
• Website: MrJayRelationshipCoach.com
Free Resources:
• Explore Mr. Jay’s site for no-cost tools and guides mentioned in the episode.
Claim the Free Gift: The Betrayal Trauma Stabilization Kit
LIVE with The Famous Unshakeable™️ Dr. AL
Broadcast on syndicated radio and available as a podcast, LIVE with The Famous Unshakeable™ Dr. AL is where resilience, mindset, and personal transformation take center stage. Hosted by Dr. Allen Lycka — internationally acclaimed cosmetic dermatologist, bestselling author, and global keynote speaker — the show inspires listeners to thrive in health, business, and life.
Dr. Lycka is celebrated as a pioneer in modern cosmetic surgery, but his life took a dramatic turn in 2003 when he was misdiagnosed with ALS and given just six months to live. Choosing courage over fear, he embraced an Unshakeable™ mindset and not only survived but built a powerful second act as an author, mentor, and media personality. His journey inspired the bestselling book The Secrets to Living a Fantastic Life with a foreword by Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Now, with over 500 episodes of his original show behind him, Dr. Lycka brings his signature energy to a new stage. Each episode delivers high-impact conversations with thought leaders, entrepreneurs, bestselling authors, innovators, and celebrities — offering strategies for resilience, success, and reinvention.
Listeners can expect:
- Proven mindset tools for overcoming adversity
- Health, wellness, and lifestyle insights
- Business and leadership strategies
- Inspirational stories of transformation and triumph
If you’re ready to unlock your potential, rise stronger, and build an Unshakeable™ future, this show delivers the wisdom and motivation you need.
Meet the Unshakeable™ Host
Meet the Host: Dr. Allen Steven Lycka, The Famous Unshakeable™ Dr. AL
Dr. Allen Steven Lycka, known as The Famous Unshakeable™ Dr. AL, is a bestselling author, international speaker, and one of the world’s leading voices on resilience, reinvention, and personal growth. For over 30 years, he was celebrated as a top cosmetic dermatologist, pioneering advances such as laser-assisted tumescent liposuction and Moh’s Micrographic Surgery. He won the Consumers Choice Award for Cosmetic Surgery for 16 consecutive years, authored 17 books and 30+ academic papers, and hosted the #1 internet radio show Inside Cosmetic Surgery Today.
In 2003, Dr. Lycka’s life took a dramatic turn when he was misdiagnosed with ALS and told he had only six months to live. Choosing courage and the Unshakeable™ mindset, he continued practicing medicine while seeking answers, later discovering he was living with Chronic Lyme disease. His journey of resilience and reinvention inspired the international bestseller The Secrets to Living a Fantastic Life (with Harriet Tinka), followed by The Pillars of Success (with Jack Canfield) and bLU Talks Presents: Business, Life and the Universe (with Corie Poirier).
Today, Dr. Lycka is recognized as a transformational coach, thought leader, and host of LIVE with The Famous Unshakeable™ Dr. AL, where he interviews bestselling authors, entrepreneurs, and innovators to share practical tools for success, health, and thriving through change.
Dr. Lycka is happily married to Dr. Lucie Bernier-Lycka for 44 years, and together they have four daughters and nine grandchildren. He proudly counts his family as his greatest accomplishment and the foundation of his Fantastic Life.