The Colleague You Think Is Fine: Trauma at Work

In this episode of Inside Out: Mental Health at Work and in Life, I'm joined by Tracey Secker, founder of Voices Social Enterprise, a non-profit raising awareness of domestic abuse, trauma and other forms of abuse, supporting both employees and employers through training, resources and events. Tracey also works with the charity Rape and Sexual Violence Project.

Tracey came to this work through lived experience of domestic abuse and its long aftermath. She understands how trauma can shape the way someone responds to managers, colleagues and pressure at work, often without realising it at the time. That understanding sits underneath everything she now does.

We talk about why a mentally healthy workplace starts with a culture that feels safe, open and supportive, and why so many people, including senior leaders, stay silent for fear of being judged or seen as weak. Tracey lays out the scale of the issue: around one in four women and one in six men experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, which means trauma is present in almost any workforce, whether it's current or historical.

She's candid about the assumptions that get in the way. "It doesn't happen here" is, she argues, one of the most dangerous things a leader can believe. People hide it well. For some, work is the one place they feel in control, a safe space they protect by becoming someone else for the day. The fix isn't to turn managers into counsellors. It's far simpler, and it belongs to everyone: notice, ask, listen, believe, and point people towards the right support.

🔑 Key Topics

• Why a mentally healthy workplace starts with a culture that feels safe, open and supportive
• The scale of domestic abuse and trauma in any workforce, and the ONS figures behind it
• How historical trauma, coercive control and post-separation abuse follow people into work
• Why "it doesn't happen here" is the assumption that does the most damage
• Work as a safe space, and the quiet signs someone may be surviving something at home
• Supporting people without being a counsellor: hear, believe, listen, signpost
• Policies that mean something versus tick-box policies that don't
• Why checking in on each other is everyone's job, not just managers'

💡 Did You Know?

Around one in four women and one in six men experience domestic abuse in their lifetime (ONS). In a team of ten, the maths is unavoidable: someone you work alongside is likely carrying it, current or historical, whether you can see it or not.

📝 Actionable Takeaways

• Don't assume trauma isn't present. Find out. Even an anonymous QR-code check-in can surface what you can't see
• When someone opens up, hear, believe and listen first. You don't have to fix it
• Be honest about your limits. Don't promise what you can't deliver, and signpost to specialist support
• Make your policies (domestic abuse, menopause, mental health) mean something, and live by them from the top down
• Check in on people, including the ones at the top who rarely get asked
• Treat a disclosure as a chance to support and educate, not automatically to discipline

🗣️ Join the Conversation

When did someone last ask you, simply, "are you okay?", and what difference did it make? Share your thoughts and connect with us on social media.

Connect with Tracey Secker on LinkedIn | Voices Social Enterprise

1. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracey-secker-9522b047/
2. Voices Social Enterprise: https://www.voices-social-enterprise.co.uk

If anything in this episode affects you, support is available. In the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) is free on 0808 2000 247, 24 hours a day. If phoning isn't safe or possible, you can also reach them through the live chat on their website: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk