The Power of Being Noticed: Better Conversations at Work

In this episode of Inside Out: Mental Health at Work and in Life, I’m joined by Darryl Craig, a keynote speaker on men’s mental health and male domestic abuse, and founder of Fynix Project CIC, which runs trauma-informed CPD training. Darryl is also an author.

Darryl’s starting point is that a mentally healthier workplace isn’t one where nobody struggles. It’s one where people don’t have to pretend they’re fine when they’re not. He’s done it himself. For years he was the one at work laughing and joking while falling apart inside, especially when he worked in sales.

We talk about why saying you’re struggling can still count against you at work. Darryl asks who gets the promotion when two people hit the same targets and only one has said they’re struggling. He sees organisations busy proving they’ve done something: an EAP, mental health first aiders, a poster on awareness day. What he wants to know is what happens on a random Tuesday when someone is struggling. Most of what’s in place is for when people have already reached breaking point.

His answer is better conversations. Managers who listen to understand rather than to respond, who aren’t trying to fix anyone, and who ask “what’s happened, what’s changed?” before “what’s wrong with your performance?”. As he puts it, behaviour is communication.

Darryl also talks about the day four years ago when a passer-by noticed he was in crisis and called for help. It wasn’t a system or a policy that helped him, it was a person who noticed. It’s why he does the work he does now.

🔑 Key Topics

• Why a mentally healthier workplace is one where people don’t have to pretend
• How saying you’re struggling can still cost you a promotion
• Why most support only kicks in at breaking point
• Mental health culture as something you work on every day, not something you launch
• Losing human connection when teams message instead of talking
• Behaviour as communication
• Listening to understand, not to respond
• Inductions, probation and keeping a culture open

💡 Did You Know?

The person who’s struggling often won’t look like it. In Darryl’s experience it can be the highest performer, the loudest person in the office, or the one looking after everyone else.

📝 Actionable Takeaways

• Swap “how’s your mental health?” for “you don’t seem yourself this week, is everything all right?”, then listen to the answer
• Before raising performance, ask what’s happened and what’s changed
• Listen to understand, not to respond, and don’t try to fix
• Get up and talk to people rather than messaging them across the office
• Make sure your induction shows people how the culture really works, and that probation is about the job, not how someone is coping
• Don’t wait for obvious warning signs before checking in

🗣️ Join the Conversation

Has someone at work ever noticed you weren’t yourself before you said a word? What did they do? Share your thoughts and connect with us on social media.

Connect with Darryl:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darrylcraigspeaker

Website: https://www.darrylcraig.org

Fynix Project: https://www.fynix.org.uk