How to deal  with relationship anxiety artwork
Mental Health Training

How to deal with relationship anxiety

  • S4E173
  • 05:43
  • November 11th 2021

Relationships come in many ways. One thing remains the same – there will be times of doubt and worry over their situation. Sometimes this concern is at the very beginning as you get to know one another. Other times, couples who have been together for several years may reach seasons where one or both may question the solidarity of their union. The result is called relationship anxiety. It affects multiple couples, but it doesn’t control or ruin your relationship when you utilise these nine tips.

Identify What Causes Your Anxiety

Do you suffer from low self-esteem? Were your parents distant and aloof with you as you were growing up?

Do you have a history of abusive relationships? Understanding what drives your anxiety gives you the upper hand in overcoming it.

Communicate Your Feelings Honestly

Sharing your fears and anxieties enables you and your partner to work together in your relationship. It also helps them see things from your perspective. For example, they may better understand why you get upset when they do not respond to a text for numerous hours.

Maintain Control Over Your Emotions

Reacting impulsively when your anxiety and insecurity levels increase places additional strain on your partner. It is better to resist the urge to make sure everything is okay, and instead, practise deep breathing, take a walk or call a friend for a brief chat. 

 Enjoy Today and Leave Tomorrow Alone

Many worries come from focusing on worst-case scenarios that have a low probability of happening—concentrating on being in the moment and enjoying your partner or family member now. Consider building fond memories and strengthening your relationship. 

Remain Independent

It is easy to lose yourself as you build a relationship. Each party may want to compromise to show love. Your uniqueness brought you together. While there will always be some compromise for successful relationships, you should also encourage each other to maintain some independence and autonomy. 

Avoid Letting Anxious Thoughts Write Your Story

Anxious thoughts may give rise to other emotions, such as anger, sadness, or despair. Emotions have a way of tainting reality, while facts share a different story. Try to avoid giving in to negative self-talk. Instead, work on replacing the narrative with positive self-talk. For instance, reframe “I am lousy at relationships” with “I am good at building strong relationships because I don’t give up.”

Focus on Gratitude

One way to combat worry and anxiousness is to be grateful. You are refocusing your mind on the people in your life that support you, increase positivity in your life. Telling them how thankful you are for their love and support can also increase your emotional connection.  

Do Not Seek Validation

Anxious thoughts lead to questions of worth and the need to feel validated all the time. Most of the time, your partner will not be available to give you the validation you seek at a moment’s notice. Also, requiring this constant validation can do more harm by creating a co-dependency. It is better to focus on other ways of handling your anxieties.

Utilise Your Therapy Sessions

Therapy sessions offer you the opportunity to work through your anxious thoughts. Your therapist will provide options for addressing your concerns, gaining clarity, and helping you develop strategies to manage your anxiety.

Consider using the following three fast activities steps.

Learn more about your anxiety and how it affects your life. Education empowers you to handle the rough patches and come out stronger on the other end.

Find ways to maintain your independence. You might schedule lunch with a friend every couple of weeks or keep up on a hobby you love. 

Schedule a counselling session with your therapist. You will keep perspective on your anxiety issues while alleviating the pressure on your partner.

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