The Remarkable Caregiving Story of Stanley and Allison Applebaum

Allison Applebaum stood by her dad Stanley as his caregiving partner, respecting his wishes and maintaining his quality of life through the very end of his life.  Allison was previously the Founding Director of the Caregivers Clinic at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the first program of its kind in the United States to provide comprehensive psychosocial care to family members and friends of patients who are in the caregiving role. 

Her father Stanley, a talented and prolific composer and musician, worked with many great artists for the 50’s and 60’s, including Neil Sedaka, Ben E. King, and Connie Francis.

Allison took a lead role as her dad’s caregiver after the death of her mother, helping him deal with Lewy Body Disease (Lewy Body Dementia).  After her mother died, Allison and Stan went forward, dealing with intense and traumatic grief. 

Allison’s caregiving story is a beautiful tribute to her dad, and there are many caregivers across the U.S. doing the same job for someone they care about.  LBD carries an unusual set of caregiving challenges.  Stan defined quality of life as the ability to be creative, grow, and continue to compose his music.  As a caregiver, Allison respected his wishes and ensured he lived fully until his death at 96. 

Some highlights from Allison’s unique caregiving story include:

• Her dad retained his creativity and this contributed greatly to his quality of life
• Stan never had a DNR (Do Not Rescucitate) document, and Allison respected that wish through his death
• Intermittent hallucinations were part of his disease, a great source of pain for both Stan and his daughter.  
• Allison considered them partners in caregiving, and worked to build a caregiving village customized to her dad’s needs.   

Connect with Dr. Allison Applebaum:

Website:  allisonapplebaum.com

Book:  Stand By Me: A Guide to Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving 

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